With the arrival of the second decade of the 21st century (okay, maybe 2010 was when the decade started, but you can argue that amongst yourselves), I figure maybe it's time to upgrade into the new millennium. So instead of New Year's resolutions, I offer the top ten things I need to do to get into the 2000s (finally). Here they are, along with the excuses as to why I haven't done them already.

10. High Speed Internet: Yes, I am one of about dozen Americans remaining who rely on a dialup connection to get online. Excuse: High speed is definitely affordable, but both the phone and cable companies require a one-year contract, and who knows where I'll be a year from now (although I've been saying that every year for a long time).

9. Smart Phone: Even though it's over 2 years old, I like my little Nokia flip-phone. It has a camera, it can send texts, and even connect to the internet (but that costs extra on my plan). You hear about 3G and 4G networks, I think mine has just G. Excuse: Which one do I get? I-Phone? Blackberry? Droid? Plans are much more expensive than mine too.

8. Set my computer so I can record off the internet: It could be used professionally to get old news and sports clips, and I could also record new music. I have a nice laptop and a sound editing program, but I can't figure out how to mute the speaker without muting the whole recording. Excuse: Who do I ask? What will they charge me? I tried sending an email to my laptop company's tech support, but they didn't know what I was talking about.

7. Digital Camera: I almost bought one in 2010. Picked one out and everything, but decided to wait. Excuse: I considered it a luxury item and decided not to spend the money. I also have a camera on my cell phone.

6. HDTV: Yeah you gotta figure someone with dialup and no digital camera wouldn't have high def. I do get HGTV (I think it's cable channel 61), does that count? Excuse: Prices are coming down, but I think I'll wait until I move or know for sure that I am staying awhile.

5. Blue Ray Player: Excuse: No reason renting High Def movies without a Hi-Def television. I did buy my mom a Blue Ray player though.

4. Learn how to stream audio: I might even be able to earn some money broadcasting on the internet, but I gotta figure out how to do it myself. Excuse: I did find a website on the subject, but it was kind of hard to follow. Don't know how expensive it would be either.

3. LASIK surgery: I know this doesn't really fall under the 2000s techno-gadgets, but it is something I've wanted for a long time. I remember in the early 1990s, my eye doctor was willing to send me to Canada because the process wasn't FDA approved yet. All this time and I still haven't done it. Excuse: Which of the thousands of doctors do I choose? The price has not really come down all that much, but I think I can still do it. Maybe 2011 will be the year.

2. A Chevy Volt: I may be the last person on Earth with dialup, but I want to be one of the first with an electric car. Excuse: Umm, over 40-thousand of them, but if I get a decent job and move out of here, I would like to do it. My little pickup truck with 180,000 miles on it still runs pretty well though.

1. A JOB!!!: Gotta pay for all these things. Maybe I can even USE these items in my future employment too. Excuse: Hire me pleeease! I'm also working on a way that I can work for myself.

So there, it's in writing. I know that doesn't make it happen, but perhaps it's the first step. I don't really consider myself technologically challenged, but I'm gettng there. I do have a DVD player, and a TiVo, and I kinda know how to make websites, so where does that put me? I don't know but I'm coming. Wait for me!