Happy 2011! I'll get there eventually."
January 3, 2011

With the arrival of the second decade of the 21st century (okay, maybe 2010 was when the decade started, but you can argue that amongst yourselves), I figure maybe it's time to upgrade into the new millennium. So instead of New Year's resolutions, I offer the top ten things I need to do to get into the 2000s (finally). Here they are, along with the excuses as to why I haven't done them already.

10. High Speed Internet: Yes, I am one of about dozen Americans remaining who rely on a dialup connection to get online. Excuse: High speed is definitely affordable, but both the phone and cable companies require a one-year contract, and who knows where I'll be a year from now (although I've been saying that every year for a long time).

9. Smart Phone: Even though it's over 2 years old, I like my little Nokia flip-phone. It has a camera, it can send texts, and even connect to the internet (but that costs extra on my plan). You hear about 3G and 4G networks, I think mine has just G. Excuse: Which one do I get? I-Phone? Blackberry? Droid? Plans are much more expensive than mine too.

8. Set my computer so I can record off the internet: It could be used professionally to get old news and sports clips, and I could also record new music. I have a nice laptop and a sound editing program, but I can't figure out how to mute the speaker without muting the whole recording. Excuse: Who do I ask? What will they charge me? I tried sending an email to my laptop company's tech support, but they didn't know what I was talking about.

7. Digital Camera: I almost bought one in 2010. Picked one out and everything, but decided to wait. Excuse: I considered it a luxury item and decided not to spend the money. I also have a camera on my cell phone.

6. HDTV: Yeah you gotta figure someone with dialup and no digital camera wouldn't have high def. I do get HGTV (I think it's cable channel 61), does that count? Excuse: Prices are coming down, but I think I'll wait until I move or know for sure that I am staying awhile.

5. Blue Ray Player: Excuse: No reason renting High Def movies without a Hi-Def television. I did buy my mom a Blue Ray player though.

4. Learn how to stream audio: I might even be able to earn some money broadcasting on the internet, but I gotta figure out how to do it myself. Excuse: I did find a website on the subject, but it was kind of hard to follow. Don't know how expensive it would be either.

3. LASIK surgery: I know this doesn't really fall under the 2000s techno-gadgets, but it is something I've wanted for a long time. I remember in the early 1990s, my eye doctor was willing to send me to Canada because the process wasn't FDA approved yet. All this time and I still haven't done it. Excuse: Which of the thousands of doctors do I choose? The price has not really come down all that much, but I think I can still do it. Maybe 2011 will be the year.

2. A Chevy Volt: I may be the last person on Earth with dialup, but I want to be one of the first with an electric car. Excuse: Umm, over 40-thousand of them, but if I get a decent job and move out of here, I would like to do it. My little pickup truck with 180,000 miles on it still runs pretty well though.

1. A JOB!!!: Gotta pay for all these things. Maybe I can even USE these items in my future employment too. Excuse: Hire me pleeease! I'm also working on a way that I can work for myself.

So there, it's in writing. I know that doesn't make it happen, but perhaps it's the first step. I don't really consider myself technologically challenged, but I'm gettng there. I do have a DVD player, and a TiVo, and I kinda know how to make websites, so where does that put me? I don't know but I'm coming. Wait for me!